I am Autistic Nottingham’s Head of PR. I have been doing PR for around one and a half years, with no formal or informal background in it (I personally feel a social media job that lasted less than a year counts.)
In that time, I have helped clients do media coverage for two UK Government Budgets, covered the Aston Martin Bulldog’s journey to its 200mph goal and recently worked on the PR for the Bluebird K7 boat returning to Coniston.
I have also got Autistic Nottingham on TV (local and national), on the radio, and in various online publications.
Now, I make mistakes, as anyone early (or late) in their career does. But overall, my bosses at Autistic Nottingham and my other role say I am doing very well. My clients are happy with my work, and journalists are pleased with the stories I bring and my quick responses.
So, you would assume I am pretty confident in myself based on the above?
Unfortunately not. You see, I have imposter syndrome.
This means I sometimes believe that my success is not deserved or has not been legitimately achieved. That somehow I’ve tricked everyone into thinking I know what I’m doing, that I’m just one more mistake away from everyone realising what an idiot I am.
The causes of imposter syndrome can be rooted in someone’s childhood. Perhaps you had very demanding parents who put a lot of pressure on you. Leading to perfectionism and anxiety. Or it’s the social factor of being a woman in a field where women aren’t well represented, and it’s hard to feel you ‘really’ belong.
What helps me with imposter syndrome is to talk to others about how I’m feeling. Sometimes, voicing my thoughts helps me realise they don’t make sense – or start a dialogue to recognise what’s causing them. I try not to seek reassurance as for me; I’ll only believe it for a short while before my brain decides I have clearly tricked whoever reassured me into believing I’m successful.
Meeting others who experience it also helps. When a friend I see as successful and capable claims they are, in fact, useless and not good enough, I tell them to be nicer to themselves! Then I realise that perhaps, I should be nicer to myself and stop dismissing my successes and skills to claim that I’ve pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes about knowing what I’m doing.
I also find that ‘blowing my own trumpet,’ as I did in the first few paragraphs, helps. It is not, in fact, ‘boasting’ to just say plainly what I’ve done in my career. It reminds me that I am good at what I do, and I don’t need to hide that.
So the next time you feel like you’re a fraud or failure because you’re not perfect, make mistakes, or that your successes were just ‘luck’, remember that this is imposter syndrome talking, and you don’t have to listen to it.
For reflection:
- What is your experience of imposter syndrome?
- What do you think caused it?
- How do you deal with it?
Autistic Nottingham 
I can never escape the belief that I am taking part in an endless game of cosmic chance.
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As a librarian, I have helped others research many different things. I have very little knowledge about a lot of things. I am constantly hit with not knowing things because I understand I have a lot of things I don’t know. My title now is designer and I have no design skills just consulting skills. I bring a lot to the table, but it is hard sometimes when you are concentrating on the things you know you don’t know and things you know you are not good at instead of the true value you bring to the table.
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